How to destroy the Earth

There’s a presidential election coming up, so it’s easy to imagine that our least favorite candidate will win and annihilate the human race, or perhaps all life on Earth.  But why should he stop there?  Science offers an array of several more-or-less plausible methods of destroying the planet itself. 

Here’s a top ten list; and here‘s the original from which that list was derived.  An isotope geochemist points out a relatively simple method his discipline has enbled him to see.  This video explains how antimatter could be used to erase the Earth completely; this one explains how a wandering black hole could swallow the Earth.  Here is a news story reporting reasons why would-be Earth destroyers shouldn’t get their hopes up that the Large Hadron Collider will do their work for them.   Several years ago North Korea threatened to destroy the Earth rather than have another meeting with Donald Rumsfeld; I must admit they had a point.  Also, gays apparently have the power to destroy the Earth by getting married.  Who knew?

Advertisements

4 Comments

  1. cymast

     /  October 24, 2008

    ” . . turning the entire planet into a blog of strange matter.” Christ, that’s happening right here! Jesus. By the way, what’s an “act of God” within the context of destroying the Earth?

    I vote for gays getting married. That would be the most pleasant geocide. And if not that, I vote for the strange-matter-blog thingie.

  2. acilius

     /  October 24, 2008

    I’m not quite clear on how the gays are going to obliterate the planet by getting married. Will it be in stages? So they register for gifts and a continent disappears, then they reserve a reception hall and an ocean dries up, etc? It’s all very mysterious to me.

  3. cymast

     /  October 24, 2008

    It could be a part of the mysterious “gay agenda.” How all so-called straight people are deep down, secretly gay, and how openly gay people are planning to out everybody by forcing gay marriage (legal government-administered gayness) on everybody, thus keeping people from reproducing (gays don’t normally reproduce), thus leading to the human race disappearing, thus leading to all kinds of scary technological destruction machines being unmonitored and then . . the Earth is destroyed. Geocide via gay marriage. Ta-da!

  4. acilius

     /  October 26, 2008

    Now THAT makes sense!

%d bloggers like this: