The Funny Times, May 2009


None of the good cartoons this time are pastable; the magazine’s website doesn’t even have the current cover up.  But there are some good one-liners.  From Jason Love’s column: “Remember that you are totally unique just like everyone else”; “The best part about gay men is that they aren’t always trying to prove that they’re not gay”; “Live each day like it’s your second-to-last.  That way you can fall asleep at night”; and (recommended by Mrs Acilius) “Men are hit by lightning four times more often than women, proof that God is improving Her aim.” 

Curmudgeon has a couple of good one-liners, too.  Robert Benchley, told that drinking is “slow poison”:  “So who’s in a hurry?”  Homer Simpson’s toast: “Here’s to alcohol, the cause of- and solution to- all life’s problems.”  Denis Leary: “I would never do crack.  I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay?”

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  1. cymast

     /  April 23, 2009

    The gay men one- I love that on several levels!

    And A, weren’t you hit by lightning or something?

    I tend to go for one-liners that will fit most any occasion, such as “You can do it!” or “Oh no, we suck again!” or “Foosball is for the Devil!” . . Pretty much any quote from THE WATERBOY.

  2. acilius

     /  April 24, 2009

    I thought you’d like the gay men one- I included that with you in mind.

    I was struck by lightning in 1998. It wasn’t a severe strike, I regained consciousness in less than a second. But it did leave my hair standing on end.

    “one-liners that will fit most any occasion” I know some people for whom the Homer Simpson line would fall into that category…

  3. cymast

     /  April 24, 2009

    Ha ha I knew you’d know I’d like the gay one. Thanks for thinking of me.

  4. acilius

     /  April 24, 2009

    You’re welcome! I knew you knew I’d know you’d like it, as I know you know.

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